don’t trust a bad mood

I’ve been swimming a lot.  If you’ve been following for a while that won’t come as a surprise to you. I’ve been spending a lot of time in my own head while out there in the lakes.  

Cold and windy conditions testing my mood.

Swimming in the small lake I’ve been training at, there are weeds and small fish to look at. I’ve noticed how this change of scenery can keep my mind busy for hours.  There is always something to observe, and it changes every second.  

I sometimes like to imagine I am flying over a forest.  Gliding through the water like a bird would over a forest, taking in the sights below.

The other lakes I’ve been swimming in are Lake Erie, and Lake Huron. Both have a sandy bottom and depending on the rain and winds we’ve had I can sometimes see the bottom, but often not.  Most of the time, I’m barely seeing my arms in front of me as I swim.

This makes for a fairly different experience than swimming in a lake where you can almost always see the bottom.

There is less to observe, and I notice my mind travels to different places.  

Each swim is different.  Sometimes I’m immediately in a great space mentally, enjoying the water temperature, in the moment and not fixated on any one thing.  I can easily move into that flow state where I’m not really thinking…just doing, and it feels easy.

But I’d be lying if I said every swim felt easy and enjoyable.  I pretty well always end up smiling at the end of my swim because I genuinely love the water.  However there are moments where I’m struggling to just relax and enjoy the experience.

There are times when negative thoughts arise during the first 20-30 minutes of my swim.

I recall being at masters swim practice early in the morning, doing the 400m warm up swim of choice and sometimes feeling tired pretty quickly.  I’d think to myself “oh today’s going to be a challenge”. It was easy to sum up how the rest of practice would go before I even gave myself the opportunity to fully warm up.

Now the pools are closed and I’m swimming in the elements of the outdoors.  Cold water, and waves.  It can feel rough at first.  I feel the fatigue in my arms from the day before, my face is numb from the cold water.  I think about how much is still to go ahead of me.  

I’ll sometimes catch myself thinking that it will be a hard or unenjoyable swim, without giving myself a chance that things will turn around.

But what I’ve come to learn, is that I almost always begin to feel better after about 30 minutes.

My arms are no longer sore, my mind settles, the numbness disappears.

So a lesson I’ve taught myself is not to trust those thoughts. 

Do you realize not all thoughts are true?  Just because you’re thinking it, doesn’t mean its the truth or rational.

If I always believed those thoughts that came up, it would create a negative mindset that could spiral out of control and ruin my swim, or my whole day if I let it.

So, I practice patience.  I notice what thought came up, and acknowledge that it is just that.  A thought.

I counter it with a positive affirmation, like “give it some time, this will pass”. The less fixated I can be on the negative or unhelpful thought, things begin to feel easier.  That doubtful feeling disappears and my confidence returns that I’ll smash the swim and finish it feeling accomplished. 

It can be easy to lose sight of the goal.  My daily goal is (loosely) going for a swim to work towards being physically and mentally prepared to swim for a whole day crossing Lake Ontario. 

When I am in a bad mood, it can create a darkness over everything else happening, even when the majority of whats really going on is amazing. Don’t trust those thoughts.  Acknowledge it, allow it to pass, and try your best to focus on all the other positives that are happening. 

Having the ability to confidently swim into the depths of a lake, tolerating the cold and doing something I love is worth smiling about.