“why?” you ask?

Cold Exposure in December at Port Stanley, Lake Erie

Photo by Dan Stenning @majordanage

I’ve always wanted to know why.  As a child I can recall asking my mom “why?” Even when there was no obvious answer, or when that question didn’t apply.

I suppose most kids ask “why” all the time. My nephew Calvin went through the “why” phase.  Each time I’d hear him ask, I’d want to give him some kind of an answer. Because Calvin, I get it!! I want to know WHYYYY things are the way they are too!

To want to know the reason behind why the way anything is, is to gain a better understanding of whats driving that decision.

Through the last year, while training for this huge swim, I’ve had to ask myself why.  

I’ve been told by a few people with marathon swim experience that my “why” for doing this swim has to be a reason that is important enough to keep me going.  Especially in those cold, tired hours in the middle of the swim, when I question myself and what the hell am I doing out here?!

Thinking of my “why” in that moment, should propel me to keep swimming.

And I’ve been asked by many people, “like, why are you doing this?!” always followed by a very respectful response, something like, “I mean, its cool, and good for you, but OMG isn’t that going to take forever?!”

My response - “Yes, it will take a long time…and I am not even sure exactly how long.  Some of the conditions of the swim are totally out of my control, and could add hours to the swim.”

But to answer the “why” part - it’s not as simple and straight forward.  I am very clear in my own heart on why I want to do this swim, but it’s not just because I love to swim.

I wouldn’t attempt a swim this long if I didn’t love swimming.  

I’ve said it many times, but it will always remain true…I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for organ donation. I also wouldn’t have a mother.  My mom’s life has been saved not once but twice, from organ donation!

 I recall the days when I was sick and waiting for a liver transplant, and just wanting so badly to be able to move and exercise again.  There are people in that position now…I am doing it for them.  

A typical (running) marathon is 42km. Just for the record… a marathon swim is anything over 10km.  The swim I am training for is 52km.  This is 5 marathons in a row. We call this, an ultra-marathon.

Needless to say, this event is drawing the attention of many.  Perfect…and it’s being done by a transplant recipient. I have to double check, but I may be the first transplant recipient to attempt this swim.

Since my transplant, there has been this force within me to give back.  

Imagine someone does you the biggest favour…one so big it saved your life.  Wouldn’t you feel like you’d want to do something to return the favour?

I want to give back. I want to help others in the transplant community.  I want the surgeons and doctors who perform these miracles to have the best tools and technology so they can do their best job, and save the most lives.  I want to leave a mark and have the biggest impact I can.  

There are other reasons, too.  Maybe more personal and perhaps selfish reasons.

I want to show myself what I am capable of.  Over the last 5 years since my transplant, I’ve progressively become more invested in swimming.  Spending more time in the water, wanting to get faster, swim farther…and I love the lifestyle.  I’ll admit this is a big jump up, even from my last swimming successes which I’d say was setting 5 swimming world records at the World Transplant Games in New Castle in 2019.

But who makes the rules about what is possible?  I think we make our own rules when we decide if we want to put in the work or not.

I want to challenge myself, and not just while doing the 52km swim.   The lead up to the swim has already changed my life, and been a challenge.  Especially because we’re in a pandemic and most things are limited or restricted in some way.  It’s caused me to pivot every few months to adapt to the plan. 

The training, the sacrifices, the long hours in the pool, the research, the cold water exposure, the creation of the foundation.  All of this has built up my confidence.  With all I’ve learned and the better person I believe I am becoming, will not only better serve me in the future, but I’m better for you.  Better for those waiting for a transplant, a better role model, hopefully an inspiration to many who can then see the same strength is within them.